Web Hosting by Netfirms | Free Domain Names by Netfirms

I watch as my father drives away in the rented car, back to the airport, and back to the only real home I have ever known.  Just a week ago I was in that place, that very home, and now I am on my own, alone, for the first time in my life.  At first I am intrigued and somewhat excited about this notion of being an individual for the first time, but, as the days and weeks pass, I realize that there is a great rift that exists between the “individual” and the “family.”  For the last eighteen years of my life, I have been living happily within the boundaries of the family, but now, after a ten-hour flight across this rift, I find myself encapsulated within this new, alien realm: the individual.
           
My family has always been an everyday part of my life.  They have always been there in some way, much to my favor, to support me in any and every way they possibly can.  There have never been any great differences of opinion between my family, and me, and with this I feel privileged somewhat, since I know of friends who are in a much tougher and stricter circumstance.  To accompany this, I discover that I have always been most dependent on my family and, on some occasions, have tried to reciprocate this dependence, though to a lesser degree.  To me my family is a vital part of my life and I know that without them I would simply not be able to survive.
           
I have always found the conception of the individual one that is most befitting to me, since I enjoy independence and solving things on my own.  This was discovered when I landed my premiere job, where for the first time in my life I felt it was me who was a member of the “working class” and there was just me there, doing it on my own.  I also feel that because I am so dependent on my family that, on one level, I possibly need to prove to them that they don't always have to be there for me, which I am pretty sure they understand, since this is all part of growing up, though this may come as a shock to us at first.
         
And now that I have experienced these two unique settings, I must make sure that the balance of the two is even so that I do not upset my family in some way on the one hand, or detriment my own individual life on the other.  I feel I have accomplished this happy medium, or rather it has accomplished itself: my individualist life exists while I am at university, and then I return home during summer and Christmas to my family life; this also works in the reverse when my family chooses to spend their vacation with me in California.  Yet, even though these appear to be two diverse and unique articles in themselves, they commonly overlap and intertwine as, I feel, they should do, and I am totally happy with this situation.
           
The individualist, in its definition, is one who takes pride in being on his own, running his own life, his own way, and having to depend on no one other than himself.  He goes through life as a “solo,” because this is how he chooses and wants it to be; he enjoys his existence the way it is and obviously wants it to stay that way.  While the family unit, on the other hand, is an entirely different perspective on life; as a matter of fact, it is the very antithesis of the individualist.  The family exists to support its members through the rest of the “group;” here there are no boundaries, no sense of competition, and no better son, brother, daughter or sister (at least there should not be).  One of the words associated with family is help, if this is what is needed; another is dependence, for the family is there to bind each member with love and protection.  In some ways these may be considered the so-called rules of the family and it is important that all understand this. 

As to the question of whether one has the choice to choose between these two; well the answer to that is: of course!  “It is a free country, isn't it?”  But, if one chooses to completely encompass oneself in either of these existences, they will be literally throwing away the other and, thereby, throwing away a vital part of their possible lifestyle.

So, here we are presented with two weighty options in a great stand-off: the American individualist, who goes through life succeeding in his or her own way, striving and competing to become the better of another, most likely, and living a complete and self-fulfilled life; and the American family, who value being together and supporting one another, since that is what they pride upon and what one might like to call their modus operandi.  Without the family there is little left to prosper with, and yet with the individual there is a specific pride involved.  Sometimes these two entities can become linked, as with the case of the Thanksgiving holiday and other such happy circumstances; and in others there may exist only one or the other; it may in fact be that said individual does not want to be a part of the family, for certain reasons, or they may feel that their family has completed its role in their life and now it is the individual's turn to cruise through life with his wealth of knowledge (taught by the family, I might add) and pursue his own family and carry on this strange tradition of what we consider life.

Now comes the question: What can one do?  We have to choose, so then, which one shall we choose and how will we know if we made the right decision.  Well, one can choose and then face the consequences later, if they be good, then so be it, but if they go horrendously wrong, then one has to look at possibly the other option; then comes the question of whether that other option is still open, or has it been closed like the lid closing on a coffin, forever sealed and lost, leaving the person simply to ponder: What if he had chosen differently?

I feel this is not the case: you do not have to choose!  The inevitable decision is that you lead your life to your own doings and happenings; you dictate how your life is run.  No one can tell you what to do (though they like to try repeatedly), so you have to tell yourself.  All I ask is that you look at this one fact: who was there with you from the beginning of your life, and who is it that will still be there when you need them?